Protecting your marriage after a reconciliation

So you’ve decided to reconcile with your spouse following a separation or even a divorce filing.

You are not the first and most certainly won’t be the last person who has attempted to give their marriage a second chance.

But as you continue to work on your relationship and mend what was previously broken within your union, you may be wondering how to protect your marriage during this sensitive time or fail to realize just how important doing so is during this critical time in your relationship.

Limit what you tell When you’re trying to rebuild your marriage, it’s probably a good idea to limit what you share with others.

In many instances, the relationship is still in a fragile state, outside influences can be especially powerful. Not everyone will be supportive of your decision to reconcile.

Until your relationship is stronger and more stable, it’s best to keep the outside voices to a minimum.

Limit who you tell While you may wish to shout the news of your reconciliation from the rooftops, it might be a good idea to take a more discreet approach and only share with trusted family and friends.

Your marriage is not anyone’s business and grand announcements will only make you the topic of messy gossip. Remind yourself that no one knows your relationships like you do Speaking of outside voices, there are some people who will want to offer their two cents about why you shouldn’t reconcile.

While it can be helpful to consider the input and opinions of the people who care about you, it’s important to remember that a relationship is between two people and no one knows your situation better than you do.

Seek spiritual guidance If you and your spouse practice the same faith, it can be helpful to pray, seek spiritual guidance concerning your marriage, and engage in other spiritual activities together.

According to research, religion helps to stabilize marriages and improve marriage quality over time. Have regular check-ins To keep the lines of communication open, set aside some time each week for a weekly check-in.

This can help the both of you to keep your finger on the pulse of the relationship and catch any potential issues before they’re able to fester and pose a threat to the marriage.

Recognize your patterns While it’s probably easy to point out the ways that your spouse contributed to the breakup, it’s also necessary to turn the mirror on yourself and recognize the role that you may have played as well.

It can be helpful to take note of your patterns and recognize what triggers you. Release what happened If you made it to the point of taking steps towards dissolving your marriage, there’s a good chance that some terribly hurtful things took place in your relationship.

It’s okay to talk about those things and hash them out. But at some point, you have to release what happened. It’s impossible to move forward if you’re living in the past. Give yourself permission to start over When you have an extensive history with someone, such as a spouse, it can be difficult to separate the person from the things that have happened in the past.

However, when you chose to reconcile, you should consider pressing the restart button on your marriage and wipe the slate the clean. It can be helpful to engage in some sort of exercise or ritual that marks the beginning of your “new” relationship.