Yanga need deliverance after derby humbling

DAR ES SALAAM: THE country is all Reds now! Results like last Saturday’s Kariakoo Derby bragging rights do not disappear overnight. They linger in offices, bars, neighbourhoods and WhatsApp groups until another result comes along to change the mood. For now, let the lions roar and enjoy their moment, one they have craved for quite some time. The bragging rights are theirs and the Young Africans must swallow the bitter pill.

Yes, the 2–1 scoreline was generous! Simba wasted enough chances to turn the derby into a full-blown football massacre. Had a few more shots found the net, the scoreboard might have needed a second opinion, and the Jangwani faithful would have been searching for the nearest exit before the final whistle.

It looked like a familiar episode of drama series when Shasha Man, in trademark fashion, broke the deadlock before the morning rooster had properly cleared its throat. For a few precious moments, Jangwani was the happiest address in Tanzanian football.

Whether he was onside or offside is now a debate for the replay merchants. What matters is that Mr referee found himself in the spotlight again. Simba fans have never exactly sent him Valentine’s cards, and if he is still looking for a way to rekindle whatever affection remains between him and the Reds faithful, this show offered little assistance.

After surviving the remainder of the first half, Manqoba Mngqithi’s side finally cracked after the break. Red-hot Libasse put the in-form Boka through an unplanned MRI examination, delivering a brutal diagnosis: Age is more than just a number when a younger man is flying past you at that speed! Before the Congolese wing-back could gather his thoughts, the Senegalese left-footed magician had squared the ball for Maema, who finished with the instinct of a seasoned striker.

The strike was so ferocious that Djigui Diara must have wondered whether he had personally offended the ball. Why not, he has been the main reason, Simba have succumbed to back-to-back defeats with his wizardly hands.

Oooh, Ellie Mpanzu! Why is he still on the street and not behind the bars? How would someone leave an army sergeant flat-footed on the ground like a crying baby and simply get away with it? Worse still, he dared reduce Diara looking like a Sunday-league veteran who had accidentally wandered into a high-stakes derby.

Under the imaginary laws of football dignity, Mpanzu deserves a lengthy sentence: Several nights of replay analysis for Yanga defenders and compulsory lessons in how not to be embarrassed in front of thousands.

Is Juju outdated, or we were conned? What exactly were those two fellows up to on the pitch before kick-off? Had the Desert’s fortune-tellers collected their fees without delivering the promised miracles?

They say derbies are not won on the pitch alone. Apparently, big clubs also need a little voodoo, teeh teeh and a generous dose of supernatural assistance.

The Desert magicians seemed busy spreading their charms around the northern goal, perhaps to ensure their opener arrived right on cue.

Sadly, somebody forgot to secure the goal after the interval. The spiritual security system suffered a spectacular blackout, leaving the door wide open for the Ngorongoro escapees to stroll straight through. Whoever sold the Desert lads those magic beans should return their money because the promised miracles clearly came with a very short warranty!

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It was a mixed fortune for Ngungu Boy and Injinia. The former finally found bromance with the Reds army, receiving the baby treatment as joyous supporters lifted him into the air. He will surely be itching for more. Sunday morning must have found him thanking his ancestors, his stars and every friendly spirit responsible for such a warm reception.

Mr Injinia was left eating humble pie, and it must have tasted bitter! That mischievous sibling of Tanzania’s football giants, never short of off-field tricks, was forced to bite his tongue as Simba did their talking where it mattered most on the pitch. His usual bag of tricks appeared to have run out of magic, leaving him with little option but to retreat to the drawing board after such embarrassment.

The lesson? Less noise, fewer theatrics and more football. When the Reds are in this kind of mood, even the loudest and outspoken Injinia may find his calculations badly off! I heard some heartless supporters claiming that the 2-1 scoreline was a flattering piece of generosity from Anko Beka’’s gangs. It could easily have been a much uglier afternoon for the Jangwani boys, they claimed.

Look at these bad losers

The Desert army quickly descended from heroes to villains. Before kick-off, their supporters were polishing their crowns and proclaiming themselves kings of Tanzanian football.

After being thoroughly beaten, however, the kings turned bush lawyers, searching for someone to blame for their royal embarrassment. Unable to swallow defeat, they began hunting for a mystery ingredient in Simba’s stellar show. When the scoreboard refuses to cooperate, excuses provide short-term consolation.

Accusing their nemesis of using performance-enhancing substances is no ordinary tantrum; it is a heavyweight allegation dressed up as a consolation prize for bruised egos!

As a two-faced city councillor advised; they should prescribe themselves sportsmanship and humility. Football has enough crying babies. When the scoreboard hurts, excuses come running! Next derby, perhaps they should recruit scientists instead of strikers.

Dear Desert brothers, kindly demand a refund from your fortune-tellers! The Reds have claimed the bragging rights, the last laugh and the football fraternity’s attention. Judging by Saturday’s show, the Kings of the Jungle are nowhere near running out of jokes! Take heart, there’s always next time, another derby, another dose of hope and potentially another heartbreak!