Laziness has nothing to do with love

Dear nephew Milambo

GREETINGS from this land where the dust is so intense and which can transform your appearance in a matter of seconds.

My dear nephew, I hope Likube has been watching over you and your entire family, and I hope too that the Nyamwezi ancestors led by our very own Ntemi Mirambo has been watching over our beloved Ukumbisiganga.

Here in the city things are not that bad my dear son, we thank Limatunda for taking good care of us, because apart from a few challenges here and there, I and your aunt are in perfect health.

As I am writing this, I have just arrived home from visiting a friend of mine who is going through a terrible time after his wife of 40 years left him.

Just the other day the fellow was rescued by good Samaritan after he nearly succeeded in committing suicide. The poor chap went to town and climbed to the top of one of the tallest buildings in the city and wanted to throw himself out.

He was lucky because there is a fellow who had spotted him and decided to watch him closely because he looked defeated and worn out.

I understand that this stranger who was watching his every move was quick enough to grab him by his trousers when he jumped, and that is how he was saved.

Of course I went to see him that day and reprimanded him for acting like a little girl, telling him that losing a woman should not be a reason for a grown man to join his ancestors prematurely, he would just anger the gods with his stupid action.

My dear son, I know love is a powerful thing, but I still don’t believe that it is worth losing your life over it, although I might be wrong, but that is my stand, and I am sticking with it.

I told him in plain terms that dying is not a solution for true love. If you love someone truly then you should respect this love.

I also told him that his life is not for only one person, because his life is surrounded by many people who love him and care for him, that is why he should live for those people who love him, which might include parents, family members and friends who always support him in any condition.

“Don’t give up just for one person,” I told him.

the action by this fellow somehow made me try to wear his shoes and imagine the scenario if your aunt decides to leave me after all these years, and by the end of the reflection I was convinced that I will not reach a point of trying to send myself to my ancestors.

My dear son, what I believe is that those who are empty focus on how life became so unbearable after a loved one exits.

They erroneously believe that the emptiness is because that one individual was the only one who could make them feel those wonderful feelings.

Those mistaken beliefs bring about a domino effect resulting in one loss followed by yet another. It’s not uncommon for men to struggle more when their wives leave, whether they leave in the early years or in their later years.

Anyway, that fellow was bawling like a kid who has been denied a candy, but I somehow managed to calm him down and told him that his wife leaving should not be the end of the world, that he should take it in a positive way.

You see son, I believe that the act of his wife leaving him was not the main reason he tried to end his life, I think it is the shame of knowing that his wife left him for a younger fellow.

My dear boy, the woman who abandoned her 40-year marriage is 65 years of age, but you will be shocked to learn that she eloped with a 23-year-old boy.

I really don’t know what is happening in this city my dear boy, but it is weird that old women don’t have any inhibitions having a love affair with some boy young enough to be her own grandson.

It is disturbing more to realise that the young fellows themselves have developed a strange appetite for older women, although it is said that money has something major to do with it.

My dear son, when I was growing up, men used to be real men, and we behaved like men, and it was unheard of to hear a case of a young man having an affair with a woman old enough to be his mother simply because he is too lazy to look for a decent job.

In the past, romance between younger men and older women was considered taboo by many. Recently, though—as notions about love and relationships continue to evolve—age-gap partnerships that involve a younger man have become more commonplace and accepted.

I think you remember I told you about the same experience recently when a certain young fellow tried to be comfortable with your aunt, and how he nearly sent my blood pressure to skyrocket out of control.

My dear boy, from time immemorial, men were the usual suspects in cradle snatching, but in recent times, women are gradually closing rank with men, probably because women are more independent financially, which has given them leverage.

But I believe all these things are brought about by what we fondly call ‘development’, which has forced us to abandon our beautiful African culture and embrace shameful habits.

It is becoming worrisome because this stupid behaviour is slowly creeping into our villages, and it is my hope and prayer to Likube to spare our beloved Ukumbisiganga.

Anyway we are all doing okay, and your aunt sends her greetings. I have to tell you that our bedroom has become like a shrine, because your aunt has stuck pictures of your beautiful daughter on any available space.