COLUMN: FROM TABORA WITH LOVE. I think soon we will have to own a boat

Dear nephew Milambo
Greetings from Dar es Salaam

My dear nephew, I hope that the powers of Liwelelo have been watching over you, and that the terrifying presence of chief Mirambo has been hovering over your life.

I also hope that you and your beautiful new wife and the baby are also of good health, and hope that all the people in my beloved Ukumbisiganga are in great health.

My dear son, I understand that you had a misunderstanding with your father-in-law, and I was informed that the situation was so bad you nearly resorted to exchanging blows.

I would have understood you if had punched that old man in the face, because for quite some time I have had dreams of doing that, especially at that time when we met for dowry discussions, but in your case, punching an elder is a curse, even if he deserves it, like that old man.

I was led to understand that all this trouble was caused by the mere fact that your dog Ruga attacked and killed one of his chicken, although I must believe that it was an accident.

My informer tells me that the old man was so furious that he threatened to consult that great mfumu in the neighboring village over the matter, though I know that it is a cowardly thing to do, especially if you consider the age factor.

My dear boy, I always say that our ancestors offer us their revered protection free of charge, therefore if a fool decides to threaten that peace, then I believe that the wrath of the ancestors will descend upon him like lava from hell.

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I know that the animals we keep in our homesteads are there for all the good reasons, and I know you love that dog of yours with all your heart, but as I always tell you, that animal is a rogue.

I remember when we were there for your wedding, that bloody animal took my boxers and buried them behind the house, and it took us several days to discover it.

And as if that was not enough, I remember on the same wedding day how the stupid animal disappeared with one of the bride’s shoe, and had it not been for the quick feet of the boys in the village, we would not have recovered that shoe up to now.

All I am trying to tell you my son is that if you are not careful, that animal might land you in so much trouble you will find it tough to deal with one day, and it will just stare at you with those mournful eyes with a silly grin on its face.

Anyway, whatever you decide to do with that animal is up to you, but my advice to you is that you should place a poisoned arrow between its shoulders before it is too late, because it seems it always have a great kick from spoiling people’s mood.

I hope that your son is okay now, because I was informed that he was suffering from a running stomach. For a child that age it is normal my boy, so what you are supposed to do is take him to the dispensary and they will give him proper medicine, and do not for the life of you think about taking him to those fake mfumus who are sprouting up every other day.

Your aunt says that if it persists, you can warm some water and put some salt before feeding it to the baby, but you have to be very careful on the amount of water and salt.

Here in this crazy city life is becoming a living misery, because the problems in this place seem to increase by the day, and I know you have heard that in most parts of this dreadful place there is a serious shortage of water.

They announced to us recently that the country is going to face serious rain, so people should brace themselves because what we are seeing right now is just a tip of the iceberg.

It is unfortunate that this problem has come when the weather is terribly bad, because with these rains right now, I think it would be advisable for one to have steady boat standby, because with the way the rain is pounding, we will soon see boats crisscrossing this terrible city.

I think that with the way the rain is pounding, I know we are supposed to brace ourselves for more calamities, because with heavy rains always comes heavy floods, which is what we are facing right now.

I hope that the situation in my beloved Ukumbisiganga things are not as tough as it is in this place, and I pray to the ancestors and all the Nyamwezi gods that they will have mercy on our poor souls and allow the sun to shine once again.

Just the other day Hamisi, the son of mzee Ramadhani the shopkeeper was telling me that the recent rains destroyed some of his maize crops, and he was praying to the ancestors to spare the remaining crop.

I hope the rains did not do any damage to my tobacco in the farm, but I am optimistic because I have not heard from Salum my caretaker, because in case of anything I know he would have told me.

I received a call from Aunt Sophia the other day, and she shocked me when she told me that finally my long lost brother Hassan came to Ukumbisiganga for a visit. I know you do not know this long lost uncle of yours, but I believe on numerous times I have told you stories about him.

If he finally decided to visit his village of birth, then it is a good sign, considering that he has disappeared for more than 30 years.

Anyway, I hope the soon Limatunda will have mercy on us and respond to our prayers, because otherwise things will go from bad to worse.

Say hi to your lovely wife and your handsome young son, I hope that we will soon reunite, even if for a short while. Let me try to convince your aunt so that I can at least take a short shower, because the heat is unbearable.

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