Basic parenting principles for today, flashback to 1950s upbringing

DAR ES SALAAM: TWO little sisters played excitedly as they waited for their mother to return from the market. Before leaving, she had given them strict instructions not to leave the house.

But as their game began to lose its appeal, the elder sister suggested they visit their friends who lived nearby.

After all, children will always be children. The company was delightful, the games were fun, and the sisters lost track of time.

When they finally realized how late it had gotten, they sprinted home as fast as their legs could carry them, desperately hoping their mother hadn’t returned yet.

Unfortunately, she was already at home-standing right outside the house, hands behind her back, clearly hiding something. The urge to rush to the toilet was overwhelming, but they knew that wasn’t an option-at least, not now.

The two sisters knew they had it coming. They had defied their mother’s warning, and now, as she advanced with slow, deliberate steps, dread rooted them to the spot. Overcome with fear, they wet themselves-yet not even that could stop their mother.

Without a word, she revealed the dreaded weapon: a bundle of that cursed, itchy grass. She rubbed it across their skin, a punishment so fierce they still shudder at the memory, even now, as women in their seventies.

Strangely, that grass seems to have vanished. Perhaps it disappeared when parents stopped needing it, turning to other methods to teach and discipline their children. Fast forward to 21st Century parenting Parenting today has become one of the most demanding roles young couples face.

Modern parents often find themselves torn between being emotionally and physically present for their children and working tirelessly to earn enough to provide a quality education and meet the ever-growing demands of a fast-paced, competitive world—needs that are sometimes essential, sometimes imposed by societal pressure.

At the same time, we live in an age of unprecedented access to information. Children today are more aware, more curious, and more intellectually agile than ever before.

Even at a young age, their minds absorb and process information at lightning speed, often leaving parents astonished. When they ask questions, they expect answers that are thoughtful, logical, and satisfying.

Here is a conversation between Binti, a five-yearold girl and her mother, who has just come back from work: Binti: “Mama, is Daddy your husband?” Mama Binti: (takes a few seconds thinking, where did this question come from? and then answers) “Of course your daddy is my husband, why do you ask?” Binti: “Because I have never seen you holding hands or kissing. You are always quarreling!” Mama Binti takes a moment to reflect on Binti’s question.

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What has prompted her curiosity about holding hands and kissing, and how does she connect these acts with marriage? Could it be something Binti’s father said? Or perhaps the maid mentioned something? Or maybe… something else entirely? Noticing that Binti is still waiting for an answer— and that they are both still standing—Mama Binti gently takes her daughter’s hand and leads her to their favorite sofa. They sit close, side by side. Mama Binti is determined to get to the root of this question.

She also wonders if this moment might help her reflect on how she and her husband communicate, and how their interactions might be affecting their daughter in ways she hadn’t realized. At her mother’s prompting, Binti explains that she saw a couple holding hands and kissing on television.

Mama Binti had instructed her trusted house assistant— a mature and sensible woman—to supervise Binti’s TV viewing. Despite this, Mama Binti becomes alarmed by her daughter’s mention of kissing and worries about what else she might have seen.

Sensing her employer’s concern through her body language and questioning gaze, the house assistant offers an explanation. She describes the show in detail, assuring Mama Binti that it was entirely appropriate for Binti.

The scene in question involved a cartoon couple— a husband and wife—shown affectionately in a wholesome family setting with their three children. To be sure, Mama Binti watches the program herself and realizes there is no cause for concern.

The situation turned out to be a blessing in disguise—it sparked open communication within the family and strengthened the bond between Mama Binti and her husband. Even with all the information at our disposal, and just like so many aspects of life, there’s no formula on how to raise children.

However, from Mama Binti’s experience and the way she responded to her daughter’s inquisitiveness, we can agree that if the following can be embraced by parents, raising children can be less challenging and less stressful: Empathy & understanding – Understand your children and listen to them attentively. Open Communication – Allow children to be open; also be open as a parent.

Positive reinforcement – Encourage children to say what is bothering them. Strong Parent-Child Relationship – Have a special bond with your child.

Adaptability – Adapt quickly to changes in your children’s needs and general development. Finally, to young parents: Treat those who take care of your children well, and they will in turn love your children.