BABA BOYI: When you decide to ‘travel,’ you should travel

There is a story someone told me a few months ago, about a fellow who was caught up with his lies and there was no way out.
I can never guarantee you the authenticity of that story, because the fellow who told it to me was on his tenth beer while I was downing my 12th cold, frothy beer.
I cannot vouch for the accuracy of that story because the fellow who told us, a fellow called Dulla the Barber, is notorious for cooking up stories immediately after swallowing five cold beers, that is why I have all the reason to doubt that story.
I know most of you heard about a certain plane in Malaysia which disappeared into thin air as if it never existed.
You might remember Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 which disappeared on 8 March 2014, after departing from Kuala Lumpur for Beijing, with 227 passengers and 12 crew members on board.
Malaysia’s then Prime Minister, Najib Razak, stated that the aircraft’s flight ended somewhere in the Indian Ocean, but no further explanation had been given.
No further explanation has been given because we all know that the plane did a major disappearing act with all the passengers and crew on board, and nothing has been heard about it for almost ten years now.
I remembered this story by Dulla the Barber because it resembles something which happened a few days ago after that useless celebration called Valentine’s Day.
The story which Dulla the Barber told me a few months ago, according to him, involved a certain Malaysian fellow who was having an affair with a certain slay queen in his country.
Because the love being dished by this Malaysian slay queen can never be compared to love given by our Manzese beauties, this fellow decided to take their love escapade to another level.
He informed his local Mama Boyi that he was going to Beijing on a business trip aboard the Malaysian Airline, while the truth of the matter is that the two of them were locked up in a cozy hotel room in their local Tabata.
Of course he knew the timetable of the flight, that is why he was confident enough to tell his madam that he was going to be away for a few days.
Dulla the Barber told us that while this fellow was tickling his mistress in their hotel room, he stiffened when the announcer on the wall mounted TV announced that the plane he was supposed to be on had disappeared off the radar.
He saw his life disappear right in front of the TV when two days later, despite efforts from multiple operators they failed to trace the plane.
That is why I don’t trust the authenticity of Dulla the Barber’s story because he told us that the fellow became more miserable when he watched on TV as his sobbing wife was being interviewed by a local reporter, while the strip on the bottom of the TV read ‘Wife of one of the plane victims.’
“My friend, as we are speaking right now, the fellow is roaming the streets of a neighbouring country like a lunatic because as long as his country is concerned, he was dead and disappeared,” said Dulla the Barber.
I told you earlier that I remembered this story, whether true or false, because just the other day something almost similar happened in a certain place in Tabata during Valentine celebrations.
You see, one day after that Valentine thing, a fellow called Simon the Sailor invited me and Jatello for a drink at a popular bar in Tabata, and because my wife was still not speaking to me, I decided to go along.
When we reached the place, we found the fellow in the company of several of his friends, including a chap who looked like a retired pastor called Komba and his woman called Agnes.
Things were going very well, because beer was flowing freely and the music was great, that is why Jatello and one of the women on the table decided to show that they have very active dancing bones in their bodies.
For a passerby, you would have been forgiven if you thought that Komba and Agnes were newlyweds, because they were all over each other like high school students.
Because Komba and his ‘new’ wife were facing me, they did not notice another couple on the far side of the place who were also behaving as if they were on their honeymoon.
Because me and Simon the Sailor were the ones facing the other couple behind Komba and his beauty, it was him who noticed something very familiar with the smitten lady behind Komba.
“Komba, whatever you do, do not turn around, because if I am not mistaken, I think your wife is right behind you,” he told Komba, and we watched as the blood drained from his face.
What I gathered later is that two days before, the fellow called Komba bid farewell to his wife and children and announced that he had a business trip to Mbeya.
But instead of heading to the land of the Nyakiusa, he called his girlfriend (Agnes) and took a room in Tabata, where they both ‘betrayed’ their marriages.
Because his wife can never be accused of possessing a brain the size of a peanut, she also decided to hook up with her boyfriend after she announced to him that her husband was out of town.
The problem is that unknowingly, they all appeared at the same bar without being aware of the presence of each other.

Komba slouched down in his seat and watched as his wife was being fed by her boyfriend, and on several occasions he was about to charge like a furious general but we had to stop him.
“Omera, remember as we are speaking right now you are away in Mbeya, so unless you change that narration, you have to be brave,” Jatello told the furious Komba.
Because Simon and Komba are family friends, Simon decided to call Komba’s wife, who was at that time looking at her boyfriend with drooling eyes.
“Hallo shem, how are you….yes we are okay, actually Komba has travelled to Mbeya but he is supposed to come back the day after tomorrow…right now I am attending a friend’s funeral in Kigamboni,” she told Simon.

Unlike the fellow who was in a cozy hotel room when he was supposed to be in Malaysia Airline, Komba decided that he had seen enough, he charged towards his wife like a mad bull, but a few feet before he could reach her throat, he tripped on a loose cable and fell headfirst on a giant speaker and blacked out. None of us saw how his wife disappeared.

Ends/Anderson