COLUMN: STAY INFORMED. Man is a social animal, or is he?

WELCOME to the village of Polepole, where on one fine evening in the village of Polepole, a group of men sip traditional brew as they exchange banter rich with meaning only they can appreciate. Within this trusted circle, friendship and mutual respect create a sense of peace.

Here, life’s challenges can be shared without fear of judgment. Time passes easily and they know instinctively when it is time to go home. They leave content, anticipating a sumptuous dinner at home, a peaceful sleep, and a tomorrow worth looking forward to.

About a kilometre away, two young lovebirds walk slowly side by side. Occasionally their hands brush just for a moment. Sometimes their eyes meet, lock, communicating something that only they understand. It’s simple, sweet, and real. They walk for a while. The young lady displays a quiet shyness or perhaps love.

The young man exudes quiet confidence and positive masculinity, the type that says ‘’I’m here to love and protect you.” When it’s time to part, they do so cheerfully, grateful for what life is offering them now and hopeful about the future they dream of building together.

At a nearby homestead an old couple sits comfortably in their garden, surrounded by blooming flowers. The air is heavy with their scent, and a golden sunset provides the perfect backdrop to the idyllic scene. The atmosphere is one of peace and companionship.

Married for many years, this couple has been through thick and thin, and they know each other very well. Their conversation flows with ease. Today, they’re playfully debating the colour of the sunset, each believing they have better eyes to identify the right colour. As nightfall approaches, they realise it is futile to continue with the exercise. The sun is gone and so has the need to be right. Tomorrow, they’ll try again.

They may not agree on the colour, but they will have something to talk and laugh about. For them, even in old age, life together is never dull. These three scenes from Polepole Village illustrate the different ways of socialisation that are fading in today’s fast-paced world.

Meaningful leisure, true romance and a deserving companionship is the essence of human interaction, which in turn brings contentment and happiness which is becoming increasingly rare in modern life, unfortunately.

Men in particular, may feel the brunt of the diminishing natural human interaction, because men are naturally not attuned to the kind of socialisation that women do with natural ease – the talking, the laughing, the gossiping (good gossip is okay), complaining (sometimes men call it nagging) and simply just the need to exhale. Hence, although the smart phone and social media may readily be available, it may not be of much value to men when it comes to connecting real feelings and emotions.

This has greatly affected men, and times they’re forced to show their feelings or pain through physical might, at times ending in deadly fights, injuries or death.

Fast forward, welcome to the digital world Tecchnology and sincere emotions

Smartphones have brought the world closer than ever.

With just a click, you can have a “live” conversation. Today, artificial intelligence adds even more wonder to our digital experiences. But there’s still one thing technology hasn’t mastered: capturing the sincere emotions and feelings that pass between two people. Human connection is both emotional and chemical.

When we interact with people in person, our brains release hormones that create feelings of joy, closeness, safety, and overall well-being. In the scenes described in Polepole village above, the individuals experience the pleasure and reward linked to dopamine, the calming effect of serotonin, and the strong sense of trust and belonging supported by oxytocin. Our young people in virtual relationships do not enjoy the closeness that nature provides.

The physical part of their interaction has been taken away by technology – hence, true feelings are either weak or completely absent. For life to be successful, human beings need solid foundation to hold and guide the respective stages of life. Virtual relationships are built on unrealistic goals and weak mentality. They consequently lead to confused marriages because unrealistic expectations do not work in real life.

So, where do we go from here?

The question is not whether digital connection is bad, but what it is replacing. When face-to-face interaction becomes rare, we start to lose the small, everyday moments that build real relationships: a handshake, a shared laugh, a quiet walk or a simple gaze.

ANNThe people of Polepole remind us that true connection needs time, attention, and presence. These moments may seem simple, but they have a lasting impact on our well-being.

As the world grows more digital, it’s worth asking: are we making enough room for the kind of connection that cannot be found on a screen?