Contemporary society and mental well-being

CHANGE is the only constant in life that we all have to embrace. It happened even to Adam and Eve. However, even amid their confusion and shame, Adam and Eve heard one strong voice and quickly hid to cover their shame. In this contemporary society, where voices of reason are numerous and confusing, which voice do we listen to?

Generational gap

A father of two young men is trying to explain to them the hurdles he went through in life to get to where he is. He narrates a very famous story told by many parents to their children and that is he walked many kilometers to school barefoot, sometimes being rained on, evading hyenas, but still managed to achieve the highest scores through the years.

He goes on to explain many years of hard work that earned him his current status and respect that he commands in the society. He further explains the secret to success in life: Shrewdness in business, hard work, a positive attitude and a sober mind for good judgment and decision-making.

He implores them to learn to be patient and resilient because life is not a straight line. Then he pauses for a few minutes, the excitement inside him rising to very high levels. And then, like any proud parent would, he takes a deep breath and with a broad smile, hands his two sons a title deed each and keys to two of the several mansions that he owns. The sons thank their father and life continues, but not the way their father had expected.

Within six months, the sons had made alterations to the mansions, looked for tenants and rented the mansions out. Their justification is that since the houses now belong to them, they are free to do as they deem fit and rightly so.

They planned to surprise their father once all the renovations were done and the tenants were in and comfortable and to use the rent money to build houses to their own taste when they were ready. So, in principle, their father’s gesture still holds water and presumably their father will reason the same way they did.

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Did we not hear that what an old man can see when seated on a stool, a young person cannot see, even if they climb on top of the roof? The father of the two young men never recovered from the shock. He is in and out of the hospital. He keeps asking himself daily: What did he do wrong to deserve the pain he is experiencing in life? How much does old wisdom resonate with contemporary life settings?

Happiness or conformity?

The clash of ideologies in today’s world, along with the endless challenges affecting both young and old, has created deep confusion. People must constantly choose between living authentically looking into your heart, finding what truly makes you happy and pursuing it, even if others criticise and gossip or conforming by remaining stoic, enduring hardship and suppressing your desires until you risk losing your peace of mind or even yourself.

Life becomes even more complex because things are rarely black and white. Even the best-laid plans often collapse, just as the Kijiko family discovered.

The Kijiko family was once admired, but everything changed six months ago when Mr and Mrs Kijiko went through a bitter divorce that left deep scars on their two collegeaged children: M and F, Mr Kijiko quickly moved on and found a new companion, while Mrs Kijiko chose to focus on her children’s well-being.

Yet, the loneliness and emotional void left by the separation made her vulnerable. In her search for comfort, she began a relationship with a younger man who seemed caring, sensible and mature just what she thought she needed. But tragedy struck when it was revealed that the young man was also secretly dating her daughter, F.

The fallout was devastating: F attempted to take her own life, M’s academic performance collapsed and Mrs Kijiko now lives weighed down by shame and regret.

Bottom line

As we navigate life’s challenges, which inevitably revolve around societal expectations, nothing is black and white. Modern problems require modern solutions, they say, but some modern solutions can lead to detrimental effects on one’s well-being. Embracing culture and traditions helps keep individuals in check, be it in matters of marriage or other relationships. Ultimately, it behooves one to marry both traditional and contemporary beliefs to ensure that mental well-being is not compromised at the expense of moving with the times, or seeking happiness as it were.