Is it possible for a man to love two women at the same time?

DAR ES SALAAM: STAY INFORMED! Welcome to our Question and Answer Moment. This is an opportunity for our readers to ask questions, and we will respond in the best way we can.

Today, we will tackle a question from Joss. Joss asks: I’m in love with two women who differ in personality and appearance, and who come from different cultural backgrounds. How can I decide who to be with?

Introduction: Joss’s question opens a big can of worms. It touches on several areas related to romantic relationships, such as gender superiority, moral values and systems, a bit of spirituality and religion, and how men and women feel and define love.

Hence, as we tackle Joss’s dilemma, we will consciously try to stick to the issue at hand – not only to help Joss make a sensible decision, but also to provide food for thought to our readers.

To understand Joss a bit more, here is a response from a married, prominent, learned personality when asked if it is possible for a man to love two women at the same time: Apart from the love connection, a man may also marry more than one wife in an attempt to find specific traits he desires in a woman.

He rightly points out that one woman cannot possess all the qualities a man might want from her.

For example, one woman may be beautiful and cheerful but may not be a good cook. Since the man loves this lady and would not want to leave her just because she can’t cook, he will instead look for another woman who can cook and possesses other positive qualities, and keep both women as his wives – hence satisfying his needs for love and good food!

Although this may seem controversial, polygamy is considered an acceptable way of life in several settings, including the Islamic faith and traditional African societies. Observation one for Joss-follow your heart: The heart never lies.

It is a strong force that brings out emotions in their true colors. Genuine love is from the heart and cannot be manipulated to look good or bad. It appears the way it is supposed to, showing itself in actions.

Between the two ladies that Joss claims to love, there’s certainly one who evokes stronger emotions than the other.

In attempting to manage the affections of two women, Joss has to figure out how to keep them from knowing each other, whilst ensuring each woman gets the attention she needs.

The mental, emotional, and financial weight of juggling two ‘relationships’ is undoubtedly a strain, and one woman is likely being shortchanged in this arrangement.

ALSO READ: What is the difference between “I’m in love with you” and “I love you”

Observation two for Joss-A stronger bond brings out more: Communication will be easier, and a greater emotional attachment will undoubtedly form between Joss and the lady of his choice.

The two become vulnerable to each other. They find it easier to open up in everything they deem important for their union.

A strong bond helps two people understand themselves and each other in a way that supports the development of a healthy relationship.

It becomes easier to divulge long hidden secrets – secrets they probably swore they’ll never tell anyone and which always bring problems in the future. With ease in communication, they will talk about their cultures, beliefs, and values.

They will talk about their upbringing and even private family matters that may have an impact on their relationship – for example, how being raised by a very strict and conservative parent has informed one’s view of marriage and raising a family.

Conclusion to Joss: Hopefully, you will be able to choose one lady from the two – the one to be with and hopefully plan a future together.

It goes without saying, however, that there will be a bitter pill to swallow in the decision-making process. One woman will be rejected, which comes with its own challenges. Or, you may find yourself rejected by the woman you have selected as your first choice.

Worse still, you may ultimately be rejected by both women. You may conclude that neither woman is right for you and decide to abandon the current ship and search for a new one.

Not a pleasant endeavor. Rejecting these two ladies, who have each been led to believe that they are loved, will test your values, integrity, and morals. Ultimately, the best person to decide which step to take is you, Joss.

All the best.