These city rats can chew through a fortune

Dear nephew Milambo

GREETINGS from this city where youths behave as if there are no elders in their villages.

I was forced to believe there are no elders where these youths come from because yesterday I almost murdered a young fellow who thought that I was his age mate.

I was coming from town when I boarded a bus which was overcrowded and the reason for that is because time was moving fast and there was no sign that an empty bus will appear any time soon.

I made my way to the middle of the bus and stood between a fellow who smelled like a broken brewery and a fat woman who had this sick idea that I was standing close to her because I was interested in her.

Every time the bus hit a bump she would squirm like a trapped snake when my body got into contact with her, all the time giving me a look which could kill a veteran lion like Bob Junior.

I believe you heard of that lion they called Bob Junior, who was sent to the animal heaven by three ambitious young lions who have the spirit of the youths of this city, with no respect for elders.

Anyway, I was faced with the challenge of the fat woman and the broken brewery when a certain lady had pity on me and decided to stand so that I could occupy her seat and I was getting ready to sit when a young fellow moved like lightning and sat on the empty seat.

The lady who was kind enough to offer her seat told the uncouth young fellow that she stood up so that I can sit, but the chap ignored her and removed his phone from his pocket and plugged ear phones in his ears.

The dormant Ruga ruga blood flowing in my veins started boiling at a very dangerous rate and I practically lifted him from the seat and threw him down.

My dear nephew, as I told you, most of these youths in this city have no manners, that is why the young lad shot up and threw a nasty punch at me, which luckily missed me and instead landed on the broken brewery with a thud.

It is fortunate that some of the passengers witnessed the whole scenario, that is why they all came to my defense while the fellow who smelled like a broken brewery took a few minutes to teach the young fellow a lesson.

A few minutes after the commotion the uncouth young fellow was thrown out of the bus, cursing like a veteran truck driver.

Anyway, those are the things which happen in this city my dear boy. Forgive me dear son, I went straight to my predicament without finding out how you and your family are doing.

I hope that by the grace of Limatunda you are doing fine and all the people in my beloved Ukumbisiganga.

Your aunt sends her love and she surprised me yesterday when she told me that she might be coming to Tabora next week in a business trip, and she promised that she will try her level best to come and see you even if it is briefly.

In case Liwelelo makes this happen, please make sure you have my tobacco ready, because my stock is depleted since I nowadays have to share with a certain chap who was hooked after I gave him a taste.

I know that production was poor last season, but I believe most of the stock we stored is still there, because Abdul told me that the last buyer did not show up.

He also told me that there was a fool who sold fake pesticide to tobacco farmers in Tabora, that is why I managed to contact the Minister of Agriculture and the stupid fellow was arrested.

There is a fellow I will send next week to bring enough pesticide and fertilizer which I bought from a reliable shop here in the city, although I think it will be easier if I put it in a bus so that you can receive it on that side.

My dear son, you remember there was a time I told you that at my age I don’t trust banks anymore and that I prefer putting my money in my suitcase.

Four days ago I decided that although most of these banks are run by crooks, I would rather put my money there, and this is after I lost half of my savings through a rat.

My dear boy, you can imagine my shock when I opened the suitcase and came across pieces of my money after a rat chew its way through.

I remember almost a week ago I told your aunt that I thought I heard some movement in the wardrobe, and she told me that it must be my imagination, little did I know that the rat was having a feast on my hard earned money.

I declared immediate war with that bloody rat after it avoided poisoned food which I placed near the wardrobe, and I knew it was still alive because the next day I saw it for the first time when it zoomed between my legs and disappeared under the bed.

My dear son, the Ruga ruga blood does not boil dangerously only when you are provoked by a fellow human being, I discovered that even a reckless rat can trigger the warrior in any Nyamwezi.

I locked the bedroom door and embarked on a serious campaign to hunt down the stupid vermin, and it took me almost two hours to send that stupid rat to its ancestors.

Your aunt was worried when she heard banging and thumping as I went on the war trail against the unfortunate rat, and by the time the dust settled, the stupid little creature was bleeding at my feet.

When your aunt walked in and I lifted the dead rat triumphantly above my head, her main concern was not the dead rat, but the wreckage that greeted her, because you would be forgiven if you thought one of the Russian missiles missed its target and landed there.

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