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Working out a sweat in Dar Gym 101

This ends here as I fear my family might disown me. There is also a rising number of Tanzanians who have taken to the gyms in an effort to regain their bodies from youth long lost. There are more numbers of people jogging on the streets and gyms are sprouting up every corner like mushrooms in and around Dar es Salaam. 

I have done both the street jogging and the gym, and I prefer the gym. As a seasoned gym bunny, I have seen quite a bit in my day. Every seasoned gym bunny knows there are certain rules we all must observe once you enter the gym.

Some of these are but not limited to the following. You do not talk to a person when they are working out. Banter, of any sort, is not allowed. I will not stop my paced breathing to answer any questions about anything. All you are entitled to is a polite smile and if we know each other that well, a wave.

Gym first, socializing later.  Next but also of equal importance, is you do not cling onto one machine for more than 45 minutes. This is unless you are some Olympic-Triathlete- Rambo-Assassin aspirant, which you should then get the management to let you train over night all by yourself. That or you invest in your own machines. Two highly plausible options.  

Another rule, but again extremely important is you must wipe the machine before and after each session. It is impolite to leave a dirty machine and really, no one wants to have any contact with beer-nyama-choma-kiti-moto-plus-plus sweat.  Additionally, a very seasoned gym bunny knows, from the minute they walk in, the serious trainers (the ones to aspire to) from the jokers.

The serious trainers will walk in, stretch out every single known human muscle and proceed to the machines with all the poise and focus and work out wholeheartedly for not less than an hour. They will calculate their cardio exercises, their strength building and then the toning or muscle building in precision. A master at work and something to truly aspire to. 

On the other hand, the jokers will enter the gym with all the phones they have been blessed to purchase. They will get on the machines, usually the treadmill (less work involved) and take a stroll for about 20 minutes. During this time, they will be on their 2 phones, chatting on BBM and occasionally receive calls where they will say quite proudly, that they are at the gym working out.

While they take this stroll, they will fight the trainer in any attempts he might show to either increase the speed or the incline so they climb not a mountain, but a hill. Most lady gym jokers will then take pictures of herself at the gym and update Twitter, Facebook, BBM, and whatever is necessary for the world to know they are gyming and perhaps look a bit like Kim Kardashian. 

The male jokers will not do any proper stretching and rush to do a total of 5 minutes cardio and claim that that is the ‘warm up’. Then he will rush to the weights and wage war to impress any unsuspecting lady in the vicinity. He will pick the heaviest weights and attempt to do reps with them. Key word being ‘attempt’ because by the time he gets to lift it for the 3rd time, he has the look of a troubled man in the toilet after he has eaten only dry Ugali nonstop for the last 3 days. 

Back to gyming. I love working out, pushing myself more and more and most importantly seeing the results. I also can't deny the post workout high drug is addictive. Many of my plots have been formed the hour or so after a good workout. I have taken over the world, conquered bad moods and even built my mother her dream house. Good times.

Twitter: @AmbyLusek Email: ms.lusekelo@gmail.com

LAST week, following the inauguration of the newlyelected ...

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Author: Amby Lusekelo

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