This is the building that we would like to believe has the main electricity switch for the whole country. Like millions of other Tanzanians who got wind of this news, I cringed and wanted to get under a table for the rest of the year. Now we are never going to get that visa.
But unlike many Tanzanians, I immediately played out many possible scenarios. Possible sequence and development of events played out dramatically in my mind. For instance, suppose one of the technicians who was called to immediately open the elevator doors did not have all his tools. This would then mean Ambassador Lenhardt would be rescued Mission Impossible style.
This would be done by an elite team based off the coast of the Indian Ocean who would swiftly be on hand in seconds, getting a topnotch rope around the Ambassador’s midriff, scooping him up from the elevator, dangling in mid-air for a minute then being carried off to safety. He would land on his feet looking unscared and suave like Tom Cruise. Another scenario would be a team of Crime Scene Investigators (CSI) on hand in a matter of minutes.
This team would not only dust for finger prints, but also establish which nitwit had let the Ambassador and his entourage to use the elevator knowing it was faulty. This is a crime. They would especially dust the area where the generator is kept to see who had conveniently left it unattended when a high level diplomatic visit was under way. The CSI team would also get the phone logs of all the people who were arranging the Ambassador’s visit months in advance.
These people refuse to pay attention to details and aside from receiving an official warning, they would also attend mandatory diplomacy lessons. I also saw another scenario where, again, positioned off the Indian Ocean Coast was a team of a special covert branch of the FBI.
This team would swoop in with cutting edge technology and just like in the television series Criminal Minds, establish a profile. Get us into the minds of the demented chaps who let the nation fall to such monumental embarrassment. This team would investigate; publish a lengthy report on the causes and ultimately suggest changes to be done to ensure no repeats.
The team would also arrest all persons responsible for nearly causing an international incident that would have cost Tanzania dearly. I think it’s called treason. However, all these assumed scenarios came to a halt when I thought of that one guy. That one disgruntled chap who had been denied a visa. Hell hath no fury like a chap denied access to Obama-land.
Never mind that his application is questionable and thus application denied, but you know, promises of McDonalds, KFC, Brooklyn (mainly from Hip Hop music) and the Big Apple, which is bigger than any apple in Tanzania. That stuff. Meanwhile, the President of the United Republic of Tanzania along with the Presidents of Ethiopia and Ghana are at the Group of Eight (G8) meeting.
The G8 summit comprises of leaders of the world’s wealthiest countries who have round the clock electricity. Uncle Jack will be shaking hands with and posing for photo opportunities with all sorts of important people. I liked the photo of him and David Beckham.