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Mothers have special places in our hearts

Mothers have special places in our hearts

The only one person you can be sure will fret and worry over your real or imagined sickness is your mother.  A typical mom can postpone showing how sick she feels to take care of a family member or friend who needs her help.  

I am not talking about those few women who party the whole night while the baby is asleep in a car park or with a friend.  Those became mothers by accident. The nurturing instinct is hardwired into every woman.

For many women, the children come first and a loving husband a distant second.  It does not matter whether the woman is a prime minister like iron-lady Thatcher, boss of the UN like lady Asha-Rose, African legislator such as Kate Kamba or first lady Michelle O from a powerhouse of the globe called USA.

Every child has a special place in a mother's heart, even errant and disobedient offspring. Employed mothers have a really hard time juggling careers and their domestic responsibilities. Given the choice, many moms would rather keep their children close by, even if that means smuggling them into offices by briefcases.   

Few offices both government and private in our mother-unfriendly Tanzania have creches for children of staff. Perhaps the United Nations offices will lead the way towards mother-friendly workplaces. Working mothers and those staying at home love their children with the same intensity.  Most residents of planet Earth are blessed with a mom.

We learned our first language from moms, hence the phrase mother tongue. If my mom knew French I would have been a fluent French speaker a long time ago.  I learned hard work and responsibility from her. It is not that my dad did not try to teach me, but mom was always available.  She did not stop offering advice, tips and tricks of life so to speak even when I sprouted a few grey hairs in my Afro.

Many sons and daughters in the land of the Serengeti and Kilimanjaro know firsthand how difficult it is for mothers to stop being mothers. To a parent, a child will remain a child even if he is 69 and all his sons and daughters are safely married.   

Do you remember if and when your mom stopped giving you food or telling you how to raise your offspring?  Probably she never stopped, like the good and caring grandma that she is.

Now you know why we shout for our moms - 'mama yangu' in Kiswahili - whenever faced with danger or major difficulty.  East, west, mom is best.  Take a look at couples you know.  Does the wife resemble in appearance or behaviour the mother of the hubby?  You may be surprised to discover when a man decides to be shackled for life he ends up choosing a damsel who resembles mom, er, to be his brand new mother. Why am I going on and on about the vices and virtues of moms?

In recent weeks, quite a few people I know including some friends and relatives lost their mothers. It seems the Almighty has been going around his orchard harvesting young and old fruits using an invisible timetable we mere mortals are not aware of. I lost two loved moms in just three months.  I was lucky.  My mom lived to a ripe old age of 90+ years, her sister died at just shy of 88 years.  A mother of some two gals passed away a few months ago. She was almost 30 years younger than mine.
However, it is not the age that matters but the fact of losing a mother. A few people have not been lucky at all as they never got to see their moms.  Most of us have had the privilege of living with a mother for varying lengths of time. Have we shown our biological and de facto mothers how we appreciate their presence in our lives?  Are we walking around with baggage of bad feelings of broken promises and failed responsibilities? Mothers are not perfect.  

If you find a perfect mom, please submit an entry for the Guinness book of world records. You should also take her to the curator of museums so she can be put up for display in the arts and antiquities section.  Normal mothers are full of imperfections. They act basing on their feelings. The more they love you the easier for them to interfere in your life.  They want the best for you and mom knows best, right?  In reality most moms know what works and what does not. Why?

Because they have had opportunity to fall flat on their noses and learn from past mistakes. What did you expect?  There is no school for how to be a good mother.  They have schools that teach how to be a master of administering business and how to be a bachelor scientist. There are many schools which teach aspiring drivers. So give her some slack.  She has done the best job given her lack of training for her job. I have attended quite a few funerals.  I always hear very nice things said about moms during the mourning period.  

Too often, those nice things are never said in public while the woman is still alive.  Many women would die happier if they could hear their offspring lavish praises on them for their motherly efforts, no matter how ineffective such efforts were. Make a resolution to visit your mother often this year, buy her thoughtful gifts or tell her what a wonderful or loving mother she has been, before it is too late.

tnaleo@hotmail.com; cell 0787-246-136


Author: Tony Zakaria

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