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A man should be a man, not half baked beans!

A man should be a man, not half baked beans!

There is a song I heard some time back, and the artiste said that we should bring back the simple times of yesterday, when a man was a man, and a friend was a friend. I am sure that young American lad knew what he was singing, and for him to miss those simple times of yesterday, it means that he noticed something which was not right.

If you sit down and analyze the life we are living today as men, and try to recollect the old life as we knew it, then for sure you will notice that something major is missing. Listen boys, all of us who are healthy and normal men have been involved in the ‘hunting’ game at one time or another, and when I say healthy men, I mean just that, because you will know a man who is not healthy, and I am not talking about the health you know.

If I use the old life as a yard stick to measure a healthy man, then I can tell you that he has to go through all the steps a man must go through, which involves chasing the girls at one particular stage. Listen boys, if your mother held her breath when you were born and gave a sigh of relief when she was told that she has had a baby boy, then for crying out loud, don’t break her expectations!

And when I say this, you should know exactly what I mean, she expects you to grow up like a man, and above all, to behave like a man. We as men should all have our rules, and these rules are supposed to guide us, to help us become better me, and some of them are as follows.

It is OK for a man to cry only under the following circumstances: (a) when a heroic dog dies to save its master (translate you). (b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse. (c) After wrecking his boss’s Benz. (d) When she is using her teeth for other purposes apart from chewing. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his friends, because in such parties, we all should know that at such parties, there should be no evidence left of whatever took place..

If you’ve known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever -- unless you actually marry her. And I say this with all the seriousness boys, because there are some of you guys who have this sick habit, and I can assure you it is not amusing. Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy’s fridge is forbidden.

However, complaints about the temperature are acceptable. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy’s birthday is strictly optional (that’s what Facebook is for), and may only be done so at a bar of the birthday boy’s choice.

Women who claim they ‘love to watch sports’ must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sportswatchers. We’ve all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below:

‘GUTS’ is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, ‘are you still cleaning or are you about to fly somewhere?’ ‘BALLS’ is coming home late smelling of perfume and beer, with lipstick on your collar, and then slapping your wife squarely on the back and saying, ‘You’re next woman!’ I am sure many of you must have heard of the saying that “all men are dogs”.

As a man myself, I know this saying holds a lot of truth. However, while all men may be dogs, not all men behave like wild dogs. I guess that’s the difference between a good dog and a bad dog. I hope that we have been able to shed some light on these issues, and that they are clear to you now, but if you still have doubts, the number is right below, give me a buzz, cheers!

0713 807164

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Author: Anthony Tambwe

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