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Son, there is a ritual called ‘Selfie’

Son, there is a ritual called ‘Selfie’

DEAR nephew Milambo

Greetings from Dar es Salaam

I hope that you and your family are doing okay, and that the protection of Limatunda has been taking good care of you. I hope too that all the people of my beloved Ukumbisiganga are also okay, and that the power of the ancestors and the protection of Liwelelo has been watching over them.

I also hope that your wife is now okay after that long period of suffering from malaria, and I hope that the baby she is carrying is okay.

Here in the city things are alright, and I thank Limatunda that we are all doing fine, apart from a small bout of flu which affected your aunt, but as I am writing this she is much better. It caused her several sleepless nights, and I had to stand by her and try to regulate her body temperature, because at times the temperature skyrocketed, and twice she had nosebleed. But I thank Liwelelo that right now she is very much okay, and just yesterday I took her out for dinner at a fancy restaurant in town.

She sends her greetings to you and your beautiful wife and son, and she promises to come over before the baby is born so that she can be by her side when she gives birth. As I told you she is looking forward to a baby girl, and actually just before she fell sick she came home with a hefty shopping of baby clothes, and I chuckled to myself when I noticed several tiny, pink dresses.

Somehow I pray to Limatunda not to disappoint her, although you and your wife are the ones who are supposed to be concerned about whether the child will be a boy or a girl, despite the fact that I am not really concerned about that, because the sex of a child does not bother me one bit.

I am told that your friend Salim tied the knot last week, and I was very happy for him, because to be honest I really like that boy, and I always say his parents raised him well. Send my warm regards to him and his new wife, and inform him that the next time I come over I will not forget to get him a wedding gift.

A few minutes ago I was talking to three police officers who came over at the house to conduct a follow up on those two young rascals I shot the other day. You remember I told you that I shot the other thug on the leg but he managed to escape, but the police told me that they arrested him after he sought for medical attention at a certain hospital in Bagamoyo.

At first they wanted me to go and identify him, but they later decided that it was not necessary because according to them the boy finally confessed, and I told myself that there was no chance that he gave the information on a free will, I have a feeling they had to squeeze it out of him.

Anyway, so far our neighbourhood has not experienced any break-ins since that time, because they know that chances are some of them might not return alive if they tried anything stupid.

My dear son, I hope that you are okay, because just the other day I had a very bad dream about you, and I had to wake up in the middle of the night to beseech Limatunda to protect you, although I know that it was just a mere dream.

My dear son, I told you that I took your aunt for dinner at a fancy restaurant yesterday, but what I have not told you is the funny and weird character of some people in this crazy city. You see, when we arrived at the restaurant, the waiter took us to our table before taking our order, and I was disappointed because they did not have cassava leaves.

Anyway, you know that me and your aunt never lack any stories to tell each other, and we were having great conversation before three girls came and sat at the table on our left which was empty. We continued to chat like old friends as we waited for our food when two women and two men came and sat on the table on our right, and it seemed they were couples, because all of them wore wedding bands.

Our food came and we did justice to it, and I remember I once told you that what I really like about your aunt is that she does not joke around with food, although sometimes she claims that she is on a diet.

Anyway, we finished eating and we were having dessert when the waiter brought food to the table on our left which was occupied by the three girls.

My dear son, something very weird happened on that table when the waiter left. The first girl took out her phone and took pictures of her food. Son, after she finished taking pictures of her food, that woman raised her phone up as if she was blessing it, and looking straight at, she started making faces at it before the light flashed.

She did that several times, and every time before the light flashed, she changed the weird expressions on her face, where several times she pursed her lips as if she was kissing an invisible man before the light flashed.

This weird exercise was conducted by the other girls, who made faces when staring at their phones and taking picture. My shock would have ended there at the weird ritual with the phone, but it was forced to continue after one of the men who was sitting on the table on our right repeated the same ritual when their food arrived.

After taking pictures of his food, the fellow lifted his phone way above his head and started laughing hysterically at it while his left thumb snapped pictures.

My son, I have been in this city for quite some time now, but there is always something weird I come across, like that ritual which your aunt says is called taking a ‘selfie’.

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Author: ANTONY TAMBWE

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