THIS statement was mainly made because of something we call weddings, where a man and a woman become one thing, although I still don’t understand why it is that a man is the one who is supposed to leave his home, labda mtanielewesha taratibu.
Okay, we all know the procedure involved in getting yourself a wife, and in this case, let us lean on the African culture, where the man is supposed to dig deep in his pockets and pay for something called dowry, or bride price, or whatever you want to call it, twende taratibu jamani! I don’t know much about other African cultures, but what I know is that in Tanzania, getting married is turning out into a very lucrative business, where most parties involved strike it rich, to put it in simple terms, mpo? There was a time on this same page I penned something on the effects of extravagant weddings, and how we do it for showing off, lakini naona watu hawajanielewa tu.
I am mad because just the other day someone insulted me because I totally refused to contribute for his wedding…….ni ndoa yake ya tatu! According to my limited understanding of marriage, I got to understand that marriage mainly involves consent from both parents, which is the bride and groom’s parents; it is as simple as that, hizi jamii mbili zikikubaliana, mengine ni mbwembwe tu.
But because we Africans don’t have anything small, yaani hatuna dogo kabisa, we have turned this simple ceremony into one major event, and as years go by, things are becoming even more bizarre, kama nadanganya mniambie. Hivi jamani, let us get serious for a bit and try to analyse a wedding in modern Tanzania, and try to see what it entails, so that kama nimekosea, mniambie, msinitukane! From what I know, God can bless your union as long as the parents of the blushing girl you want to take home permanently agrees with you, so the issue of signing the document called a wedding certificate is simply in terms of law, the concerned government has to recognise and approve of the union, naomba mnielewe jamani!
Today, apart from the guy taking a major loan from his bank so that he can take another occupant in his house, he has to feed a bunch of strangers who don’t even know his last name unless the master of ceremony announces it, narudia tena, mkinichukia freshi tu, mnajiumiza wenyewe!! If you sit down and look deep into what entails a modern wedding, then you will realise that if we made up our minds, then our country will be rid of street children, our roads will be in perfect condition, and our hospitals will be world class, kweli kabisa! I am saying this because in simple arithmetic, a day hardly passes by without most of you witnessing several noisy convoys in a wedding procession, and for your information, it all involves hard cash, even during these hard times when Corona is trying to spoil our parties!
Hivi, hela yote hii, if we made up our mind, don’t you think it would have done something good in the society? Kaa tu ujiulize, tungekua tunachanga kwa bidii kiasi hicho so that we can build children’s centres, hamuoni kama tungepiga hatua kubwa sana kama taifa? How many street children do you imagine will benefit from one wedding, which has a budget of something in the range of 15 million/-? But the problem is, we like prestige, so that by the end of the day, people will be left talking about how grand your wedding was, but then after that, what next? Kinachofuata ni maumivu tu.
“Harusi ya Papa Shango bwana, tulikunywa mtu wangu!” but unbeknownst to you, Papa Shango in question still lives in a rented house, while the wedding alone consumed millions of shillings which was enough to buy a piece of land and laying the foundation of a house! Tuache sifa jamani, because believe you me, there is quite a number of people you feed and give free swallows who don’t give a hoot about you or your new wife, yaani hawajali kabidsa, this is apart from regular gate crashers who will invade the party, wapo bwana!
What I am trying to say here for the second time is simple, if you are not in a good financial position, just organise a simple wedding for crying out loud, because after all, si wazazi washakubali umchukue binti yao bwana!? If you are financially stable, then by all means go ahead and do it, but if you are not, then don’t go around harassing people to support your idea of a posh wedding, ama nasema uongo jamani? Because it is really irritating, wewe mwenyewe una majanga kibao, and then someone pushes a card under your nose, anataka mchango wa harusi, and you are not even familiar with the fellow, inakera sana, nawaambia ukweli.
Hebu fikiria, before the parents of the blushing girl finally agreed to trust their daughter with you, they squeezed you so tight you felt like taking a walk on the wild side, na bado hujihurumii? You felt like that simply because when they mentioned the bride price, you quickly realised that you can easily get a very good car from the amount they mentioned, na bado hujakoma tu! Umelipa mahari ya bei ya wizi, you transported half your clan from the village so that they can witness your circus, fed hundreds of people, mostly strangers, and then after the wedding bado una mikopo ya kulipa…. Mungu awasaidie kwa kweli.
With the way things are going in this land of mama Samia, when most Tanzanian men get to realise that in India it is the family of the woman which pays the dowry price, believe me, there will be a very serious exodus, I am telling you!! Mtashangaa vijana wenu wamejaza wahindi nyumbani, nyie endeleeni kutafuta sifa, and don’t say that I did not warn you!